People Discover Guns May be Responsible for Deaths

February 10th, 1999 – People Discover Guns May be Responsible for Deaths
Just when you thought it was safe to hate the NRA, there comes along a group of dipshits even worse. Due to the nearly 14,000 firearm related deaths that occured in 1996, a number of American cities are suing the gun industry. Setting a good example for the citizens of these cities, similar lawsuits have popped up everywhere. Nudists and fans of nudity are suing clothing companies and fig trees, drug users are suing Nancy Reagan, and retards are suing genetics. It promises to be an intense year for Court TV which incidentally is being sued by a small group of children that felt the network should have been devoted to cartoons.

The lawsuits are expected to continue, as the gun industry plans on suing the Chinese for inventing gunpowder. They in turn, threaten to sue the Mongols for a number of charges of assualt, rape, and noise pollution. The chain of courtroom dramas will eventually end in the case of The People of the World vs. Grok. He is the caveman credited with inventing violence when he started a fight after being hit by a fellow caveman’s thrown turd.
The gun industry, represented by the Decepticons’ Megatron, is planning on using the “Are you guys a bunch of fucking idiots?” defense. This is known to have no chance of working as proven by the famous case of McDonald’s vs. that bitch that poured hot coffee on her crotch.